As far as I’m concerned, there are three basic types of earphones that bear consideration. The first is the classic bow-shaped on-ear headphones, ranging from the crappy and cheap to the behind-the-head type to the big, ear-hugging the-world-inside-your-ear type that can really be quite wonderful. The problem with them is that they are usually not very comfortable. They squish your hair or annoy the nape of your neck. They’re made of cheap breakable plastic, or they’re heavy on your head.

On the other hand, we have the ear-bud variety. These are either the simple padded sitting-in-your-ear variety, which tend to fall off a bit for anyone with a not-entirely-standard ear shape, to the ridiculously high-end ultra-slick sound-isolating somewhat-organic models that can fellate your inner ear, or at least should with what they cost. Since I fall into the non-standard ear category (which encompasses, I suspect, a decent percentage of the population) I don’t really like this kind. They’re fine, usually, but too much of a hassle. That is, unless I go for a custom-molded pair that’s cast in the shape of my own inner ears, which seems not only totally over-the-top but also quite distressing to look at – not to mention the $500-$900 price tag.

This is why my favorite type is the ear-snapping clip-ons. They’re on-ear like the first kind, but they don’t have the bow messing up my carefully applied coiffure. They stay up close and personal on my ear, without making themselves unwelcome in my ear canals. They can be light and unintrusive.

But I think my favorite part of these headphones is the cyborg-ish aspects. You don’t simply put them on – you install them on your ear. They click into place on their specially-prepared sockets and start working. They don’t fall out like the earbuds and don’t feel heavy and clunky like the headphones. They make you feel all modular and extensible, as if all you’d need to start seeing in infrared is clipping on an extension to your glasses. Add a special pair of gloves and you can suddenly juggle. In the words of that great bard of our age, Keanu Reeves: “I know kung fu!”.