“Blame it on the black star, blame it on the falling sky” – Black Star / Radiohead

בקטגוריות: Uncategorized

26 May 2003

You go about your life quite normally. How can it not be normal? You’re born that way. Nothing is different, you don’t miss anything.
Sure, you see other people doing it all around. It’s considered a status-symbol for some. For others it’s just a way of life. You can see that – you even WANT it, in some sense. But you don’t really know what it means. It’s just words on paper. Images on the screen. It’s not a part of your life.
And then you get it.
It’s quite incomprehensible at first. You don’t know what you have there. It’s strange. It’s new. It’s exciting, certainly, but also scary. You’re playing with fire here. It’s dangerous. Could turn back on you at every second.
But you grow used to it, and it to you. It’s become a part of your life – a part you didn’t even know you were missing until recently, but it’s dug itself so deep you can’t even think of what it was like before – you don’t WANT to think of how it was. It’s there, it’s good, you’re happy. No need for anything else.

But what happens when it’s gone? When you lose your steady supply of that good livin’? How do you deal with that? How do you deal with being once more one of the downtrodden masses, those poor fools I mocked and derided during my years of glory? How do I deal with that loss?
It’s like having a piece of you cut off. A severed limb, numbed and frozen.

How do you deal with it?
Get a replacement, many would say. As if it’s that easy. It’s gonna take time. A whole lot of precious time. Gonna take plenty of time to do it right.
So what am I gonna do until then? Whine on LJ? Certainly. What else? Make plans? Take action?

And I miss my car.

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פעם היה לי לייבג'ורנל. עכשיו הוא כאן, מגובה.